The Circle

When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.

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Living life in a circle is when you keep doing or talking about the same thing without achieving anything. However, it can be interpreted in so many areas in life. Such as your job, raising kids and everyday life. Most of us have lived this way at least once in their life.

This is just one example of living in a circle and in this case relationships.

Let me tell you a short story about my dear friend. She was married for 23 years to a man that she knew was no good for her, but she had three kids with him and she stayed. About 18 years into the marriage she was fed up and left her husband, only to go back to him a year later. Thinking this time it will be different……. things were still the same. I met her at this point in her life and at first I thought they had a great marriage. But to my surprise it was all a show. She began to talk about what was going on and what she was going to do and never followed through she continued this for another 5 years.

This shows the circle or cycle some people place them selves into. What made her think that after 18 years something would be different? It’s simple, she was comfortable with the mental abuse. She was familiar with his ways and actions. The thought of CHOOSING another way was too far to obtain. Or was it?

After 5 years of HER trying, she decided to be completely done. She kicked him out of the home and filed for a divorce. However, in the back of her mind she still wanted to be with him. She gave him one year to get his shit together and she promised to take him back and remarry.

I know your thinking “what the (bleep)?” But yes, this really did happen. I wanted to slit my throat. I told her that she was absolutely insane. But I knew she was sick and it was something much deeper. So I dedicated my time to counsel her and allow her to open all scars of the past and present so she can understand why she was living in a circle.

She vowed to not date anyone until she was completely healed and over her now ex-husband. All while understanding 23 years isn’t going to be gone in one year. She told stories about feeling abandoned & abuse in the home as a child. Also as a child she was never allowed to tell or show anything was wrong.

Some people are living as robots, not sure as to why certain things are happening to them. Not even realizing the reason they are in a situation most of the time is due to their past, or better yet childhood. It’s about recognizing it, owning it, and changing it, breaking the cycle.

This time was needed, she began to realize and connect all her behavior and choices back to her childhood. She owned her part in the failures, and she has now broken the cycle. Never wanting to go backwards ever again. She is currently now dating and enjoying her life they way it was intended, by her new choices.

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